PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

What Goes Around...

My reputation as something of a history buff distinguishes me from very few men in the critical 51-110 year old age group that history advertisers target. And yet I tend to train my lens less on major world events, like wars and tsunamis, than on the mundane and commonplace.

For instance, what about urinals? There must be history there. It’s not like God gave us urinal-producing trees to pluck our urinals from. (Yes, I’m aware, if urinals grew, they would do so on the ground, like cabbage or watermelon, not in trees!).

Well, with the internet allowing any old fool to publish anything he wants, the blogger can quickly pivot from a treatment of the history of urinals, the bait so to speak, to an anecdote about this one time when, en route to the west branch of the Penobscot River in Maine, he stopped at a brew pub for his last bit of sustenance before heading into the wild, and the men’s room urinal was actually a repurposed beer keg!

Maine urinal

What a hoot.

There is some synergy here, as beer makes the average blogger (not me) need to pee, and also I’m going to be in the woods, where basically everything is a urinal. 

Continue reading
  3488 Hits

Brand Strategy

Sometimes, late on a hot summer night when everyone is asleep, I sit on my porch with a cold glass of lemonade and look up at the stars. And when I do, invariably my thoughts turn to my brand. Have I done enough to promote my brand? Have I used social media in a way that gets my brand name out there? Am I tweeting out messages consistent with the Patrick McVay brand identity? Is my brand connecting with the right influencers who can create interest in my brand and increase my sales? Do I have any sales? Why am I not hitting you over the head with advertisements? Are you even listening to me?

The answer to all these questions is no. Except the question about hitting you over the head, because “no” is never an answer to a “why” question.

One of the reasons that my brand isn’t succeeding like, say, Nestle, or Canada, is that I don’t have infrastructure in place to run focus groups on my products, and I don’t have a constitution that lacks a second amendment. The Canada brand seems to be doing quite well without a second amendment, but don’t go telling that to Canadians. Before you know it they’ll be whining about needing a well-regulated militia to protect their brand.

To hell with the Canada brand and their meek and mild prime minister!

By the way, Russia says that they didn’t meddle in our elections, so that answers that question.

Continue reading
  2407 Hits
Tags:

Card Reading Etiquette

When an unknown voice at the other end of the line asks for your credit card number for some sort of purchase you’re about to make, do you ramble it off in one long stream-of-consciousness flow of numbers, or do you pause between each four-digit array?

Or are you one of those people who needs to get feedback from the disembodied voice, a grunt or “OK” after each set of four numbers is conveyed to indicate that s/he has recorded the digits without which you’d be unable to buy that set of awesome pocket squares you were dying for? “And the expiration?”

“0-4-2-0.”

“And those three numbers on the back of the card?”

“9-1-1.”

I find that most people taking my order expect my verbal commas and like to chirp “uh-huh” after 4th and 8th digits are read, and add “OK” after the 12th digit. I hope the nation’s psychologists are investigating why this pattern exists.

Also, did I tell you I’m moving?

Continue reading
  2588 Hits

 

 

Daily Haiku

 

Cats oft’ void their guts.

They cough out fur balls. They puke.  

We tread carefully.  

 

College Tuition

We dig ourselves a deep hole

Need a second job.

 

Now that I’m sixty

People think I’m a wise man

Probably, I’m not

 

I’m in my Fifties

But tomorrow I’m Sixty

Will need a sports car

 

My PCP Says

“Keep doin’ what yer doin’”

Prob’ly I should not

 

It’s St. Patrick’s Day

We eat beef that has been corned

Whatever that means

 

Robots and A.I.

I will make use of these soon

To do my taxes

 

Strange Oscar night end

Pacino failed to mention

Best pic nominees

 

Who’s this Katie Britt?

Scary. Wierd. We could have used

A Trigger Warning

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

My Estate Me Grass Skiing Rabbit Hole Folk Music Canadiana My grandparents Music Communication Channels Roommates I've Had Godfather Barber Shops Weather Peter Paul and Mary Europe The Future Mike Doughty Dad advice Cars Diseases Teeth Mom and Dad Work gathering throngs winter Trump Biden China Them Kids Coyotes Plastic Hand Planes baseball Emergencies Martinis Syracuse Audio Joan Jett Advertising Short Fiction Ketchup cornhole Motorists Religion Candy Smoke Meat Canada Stories I should write Spoon the band the future Big Shoes Radiohead weather Beer town square Little League War and Peace Car Dealerships high winds Yeast College When I die Hache Verde vacation Pats Real Estate Belgian Ales Snow Guns Texting Eclipse Butterfingers Soviet Union Masks BB King NPR Things I've done Skating Drumming Higher Education Audubon Bar Boston the sea midwinter vacations NFL Existential Crisis Bands I haven't seen First World Problems Rock Bands Brain Surgery Knots Soccer Ice Dancing Soup technology Bob Dylan The Old Days Football Accounting Cornhole star Hawaii Reese's Peanut Butter Cups curling shoes Cats Food Ukraine Liz Phair Skiing Bikes Fiction COVID Eating and Drinking US Senate soapbox rantings Climate Change Bicycles coronavirus New England Theater Email Imaginings Quebect punk music seasons Bill Monroe Zoom Golf Soul Coughing Bodysurfing Christmas Halloween Reveillon TV Peacekeeping Brewing Sports COVID-19 nukes plan mid-winter vacations Sugarbush Scotch and Sirloin Head injuries Royal Stuff Red Sox Stairs Bands I've seen Wind Ticketmaster Earth My sisters Mass General Hospital afterlife Putin The Past Chowder Vaughn People I know The future Politics As Usual Spice Girls Elvis Presley Hot Air Balloon Good Reads tambourrine Hurricanes Art Marketing Gimmicks Guns and Ammo Mustard Bunker Vaccines My Parents Sports Psychology Allergies Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Bands I've Seen acerbic high school principal Tom Waits 1980s