PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

The Dirty Den

aububon bar

I don't drink a lot of martinis in bars, but when I do, I always order the same thing: dry Grey Goose martini, straight up, with olives. It's a clean, clear, cold drink, with a treat at the end: three pimento-filled olives to chew off a toothpick.

I had the occasion to order this very drink recently at a bar named Audubon, on Beacon Street near Fenway. My old friend Dave with was with me and ordered a dry Ketel One martini with a twist. His son Gus ordered a Cosmo, and I ordered a beer.

The waitress went off and soon returned, saying "I forgot what you ordered." I told her, "Orval." A beer. 

But soon I demurred. Why not have a martini, since Dave and Gus were drinking spirits in martini glasses. So I jumped up and found the waitress as she was typing our order: "Actually, I'll have a dry martini, Grey Goose, with olives," I say.

OK, what happens next is the God's honest truth: first, a drink is put before Dave, which is identified as the "Ketel One Martini," but clearly contains olives. Dave, as a non-olive consumer, says something along the lines of "I really don't like olives. I ordered my drink with a twist." So, as any good food establishment will do, they take his drink back. Meanwhile, my drink is put down, and I take a sip: this is a dirty martini, I'm thinking, not a dry martini. Before the waiter can leave, I alert him to this error: I just want a dry martini. Grey Goose. With olives. And then Dave reiterates: And I want a Ketel One martini, straight up, with a lemon twist.

Seems like the waiter understands. Sort of. Soon, he returns and puts down a martini with a very long, twisted lemon rind in front of Dave. Dave takes a sip and declares to me: this is a dirty martini. With a twist. This may be the very first dirty martini with a twist ever made by a "professional" bartender, and it's just befuddling. So, by now we've ordered zero dirty martinis, and have received three of them (assuming that the first martini delivered to Dave, which looked like it had a splash of olive juice in it, was dirty).

Dave decides he'll suffer through his dirty martini with a lemon twist.

It takes a little time for my martini to arrive, maybe another five minutes, and when it does it has olives on the side. Clearly, they are being careful here. But, when I take a sip, it's yet another dirty martini, packed with salty olive water, which to me is borderline gross.  

Not joking!

This is not a bar that's just learning the ropes. I've been going to Audubon for decades. It's like we were at a house party where the host makes up a pitcher of dirty martinis and you have no drink option except dirty martinis, or variations on that. ("Would you like your dirty martini with a twist?")

Moral of the story? Stick to beer. 

Continue reading
  56 Hits

 

 

J'Biden Era Haikuage

 

People's Arms. That's right!

200 million shots

In 100 days

 

We are good people

But we still have far to go

Repair. Restore. Heal.

 

There's nothing new here

The Affordable Care Act

We're restoring it 

 

America's Day

Democracy is fragile

The world is watching 

 

Strategy is based

On Science, not politics

Truth, not denial

 

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

Eating and Drinking The Future punk music Zoom Mass General Hospital Spoon the band Mustard Soup Big Shoes weather Roommates I've Had Them Kids Sugarbush Texting Accounting Bunker Brain Surgery Folk Music baseball coronavirus Good Reads Things I've done Audio Belgian Ales Cornhole star Bob Dylan Advertising Coyotes Soviet Union Audubon Bar Hand Planes Bands I've Seen Skating cornhole Email Grass Skiing Drumming Imaginings Fiction Yeast Wind Hawaii Eclipse acerbic high school principal The Old Days Rock Bands technology Sports Red Sox nukes Music plan mid-winter vacations Cars Royal Stuff War and Peace Bands I've seen Martinis TV US Senate My Estate tambourrine Food People I know Dad advice Snow Guns Bicycles Higher Education Hache Verde Art the sea Syracuse vacation Barber Shops NPR high winds Work My grandparents afterlife Hurricanes Liz Phair Stairs Trump midwinter vacations soapbox rantings Mom and Dad Ketchup Communication Channels Existential Crisis Ukraine Knots Bands I haven't seen Ticketmaster Hot Air Balloon Quebect Guns and Ammo town square Christmas Ice Dancing Religion Theater Skiing Putin Plastic Golf Biden Bikes Beer Weather The Past Canadiana Reveillon My sisters Bodysurfing gathering throngs Diseases Cats When I die Politics As Usual Me Soul Coughing Rabbit Hole the future Tom Waits Mike Doughty Pats COVID seasons COVID-19 China Canada Spice Girls Vaccines Peacekeeping Boston Climate Change 1980s Scotch and Sirloin Earth New England curling shoes My Parents Allergies Chowder Vaughn The future