PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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Swing And Miss

Xander Bogaerts may be everyone’s favorite Red Sox player, what with his leading the league in hits and ability to speak more languages that several dead popes. Plus, there’s this: Xander admitted, during his 20-plus game hit streak, that if he didn’t get a hit in the first two at-bats he was definitely thinking about it by the third at bat. “That’s refreshing,” Joe Castiglione kept telling us. Is it?

I was there at Fenway on June 3rd when his 26-game streak was about to end. He went down in his first two at-bats, was walked in his third, and got one more opportunity with two men on and two out in the bottom of the ninth. Here was Xander’s chance to be a hero: a home run would tie the game; a single would extend the hitting streak; a walk would load the bases with Big Papi coming up. (Big Papi!) With the count three and one, Xander fouled off a tough pitch that looked, felt, and smelled like ball four. Well, at least it kept his chances at continuing his damnable streak alive.

At this point, the catcher for the Blue Jays called time and went to talk to his pitcher. I wasn’t privy to the “conversate” (as I’ve heard people call it), but I can guess what the catcher said: “This guy wants a hit more than anything, so don’t throw him a strike.” Sure enough, the next pitch was up in Xander’s eyes, and he swung at it anyway, striking out to end the game.

 

Strikeout rev

 

If Christian Vasquez had been on deck, I’d have understood, but it was David Ortiz!

New clubhouse rule: no more hitting streaks, as they tend to interfere with sensible at-bats late in the game.

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Holy Foods

Back when the sitcom Cheers was the most popular show on TV, we in Boston all knew that it was modeled after a bar called “The Bull and Finch Pub” in the Back Bay neighborhood of our very own city. If you ever went into the Bull and Finch, the first think you’d think is “What the hell! This doesn’t look anything like the bar in Cheers. And where are Norm and Cliff?”

In a fascinating case of uncanny coincidence, there appeared in Boston, around this same time (the 1980s and early 1990s), a new establishment called “three CHEERS bar.” I may have the letter cases not exactly correct and I can’t replicate the font size, but the general idea was to draw your eye toward the word “Cheers,” so that tourists might mistakenly think it was “The Cheers Bar.”

This signage subterfuge was not lost on me. For example, I recently acquired the trademark of “Samuel Addings,” which is also the name of my beer-brewery-to-be. If the stars align properly, I’ll be able to serve my beer to “Gradiate Students” at my own (for-profit) University named “Harfard.”

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Well Isn't That Conveeeeenient

Usually, when I come into Boston and need to park, I make use of quarters. This has been extremely inconvenient for me. First of all, I don’t get paid in quarters. Sure, back in the 1970s when I was an altar boy serving funerals while people around me wept, I was paid in quarters, but back then you only needed a couple of nickels to park, so the quarters weren’t all that convenient either. Plus I didn’t have a driver’s license.

Well wouldn’t you know it but just the other day I found myself in the Back Bay neighborhood of Boston needing to park, and came upon a metered space that loudly advertised that I could pay by phone. In this case I had quarters, but I wanted a more convenient way to pay than by using the coins I had at the tips of my fingers. I decided to download the very convenient ParkBoston phone app, which took only about five minutes longer to install than it would have taken for me to inconveniently reach into my pocket and pull out six quarters.

After spending another 5 or so minutes establishing my user name and password, I paid for my parking right there on my phone, which included a 15 cent “convenience” charge.

The only inconvenient part of the 10 minutes I spent paying for parking is that I now have these six quarters weighing me down.

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Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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