PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,
Font size: +

The Dirty Den

aububon bar

I don't drink a lot of martinis in bars, but when I do, I always order the same thing: dry Grey Goose martini, straight up, with olives. It's a clean, clear, cold drink, with a treat at the end: three pimento-filled olives to chew off a toothpick.

I had the occasion to order this very drink recently at a bar named Audubon, on Beacon Street near Fenway. My old friend Dave with was with me and ordered a dry Ketel One martini with a twist. His son Gus ordered a Cosmo, and I ordered a beer.

The waitress went off and soon returned, saying "I forgot what you ordered." I told her, "Orval." A beer. 

But soon I demurred. Why not have a martini, since Dave and Gus were drinking spirits in martini glasses. So I jumped up and found the waitress as she was typing our order: "Actually, I'll have a dry martini, Grey Goose, with olives," I say.

OK, what happens next is the God's honest truth: first, a drink is put before Dave, which is identified as the "Ketel One Martini," but clearly contains olives. Dave, as a non-olive consumer, says something along the lines of "I really don't like olives. I ordered my drink with a twist." So, as any good food establishment will do, they take his drink back. Meanwhile, my drink is put down, and I take a sip: this is a dirty martini, I'm thinking, not a dry martini. Before the waiter can leave, I alert him to this error: I just want a dry martini. Grey Goose. With olives. And then Dave reiterates: And I want a Ketel One martini, straight up, with a lemon twist.

Seems like the waiter understands. Sort of. Soon, he returns and puts down a martini with a very long, twisted lemon rind in front of Dave. Dave takes a sip and declares to me: this is a dirty martini. With a twist. This may be the very first dirty martini with a twist ever made by a "professional" bartender, and it's just befuddling. So, by now we've ordered zero dirty martinis, and have received three of them (assuming that the first martini delivered to Dave, which looked like it had a splash of olive juice in it, was dirty).

Dave decides he'll suffer through his dirty martini with a lemon twist.

It takes a little time for my martini to arrive, maybe another five minutes, and when it does it has olives on the side. Clearly, they are being careful here. But, when I take a sip, it's yet another dirty martini, packed with salty olive water, which to me is borderline gross.  

Not joking!

This is not a bar that's just learning the ropes. I've been going to Audubon for decades. It's like we were at a house party where the host makes up a pitcher of dirty martinis and you have no drink option except dirty martinis, or variations on that. ("Would you like your dirty martini with a twist?")

Moral of the story? Stick to beer. 

Yo Adrian!
Ballooney
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Thursday, 28 September 2023

 

 

J'Biden Era Haikuage

 

People's Arms. That's right!

200 million shots

In 100 days

 

We are good people

But we still have far to go

Repair. Restore. Heal.

 

There's nothing new here

The Affordable Care Act

We're restoring it 

 

America's Day

Democracy is fragile

The world is watching 

 

Strategy is based

On Science, not politics

Truth, not denial

 

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

Me Sports US Senate Barber Shops acerbic high school principal Hawaii Chowder Vaughn Ketchup Hurricanes Bands I've seen Bands I haven't seen Stairs First World Problems Spice Girls Allergies gathering throngs Car Dealerships Skating Joan Jett Roommates I've Had Mom and Dad Mike Doughty cornhole Yeast Big Shoes Folk Music Religion The Old Days Existential Crisis Cornhole star Vaccines Email Bicycles seasons People I know Drumming Spoon the band Golf Cats Grass Skiing Bodysurfing Marketing Gimmicks curling shoes Skiing Belgian Ales TV Eclipse Hot Air Balloon Dad advice Texting Scotch and Sirloin My sisters Trump My grandparents Snow Guns Bikes Martinis The future technology Them Kids Music Plastic Bill Monroe the sea Ice Dancing Mass General Hospital Hand Planes Christmas soapbox rantings War and Peace Earth Bunker Theater Putin the future Climate Change Red Sox Knots plan mid-winter vacations Rock Bands New England Ticketmaster Advertising Soup tambourrine Rabbit Hole vacation Peacekeeping Work Audubon Bar afterlife Royal Stuff nukes Canadiana My Parents midwinter vacations Imaginings Liz Phair Higher Education Hache Verde high winds Quebect When I die Boston Tom Waits Sugarbush Things I've done Politics As Usual Guns and Ammo Ukraine town square Diseases Biden Reveillon punk music The Future Bands I've Seen Bob Dylan Coyotes Mustard Soul Coughing China weather Communication Channels Art Canada coronavirus Beer Elvis Presley COVID-19 NPR Good Reads 1980s Audio Accounting Eating and Drinking Weather Cars Food baseball The Past Pats My Estate BB King Soviet Union Syracuse Zoom Wind COVID Fiction Godfather Brain Surgery