PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Gospel According To Some Unidentified Guy

 

I’m hoping next fall to lead a group of amateur archaeological sleuths into the lands of our biblical forebears to seek out yet more gospels of the life of Jesus. Carrying pickaxes, spades, and a measure of divine inspiration, our aim is to disprove the widely-held notion that the Son of God was a carpenter. (Yeah, sure he was!)

It seems to me to be far more likely that Jesus was actually a short order cook. I have evidence of this via a vision that came to me at two in the morning, when I was in bed with my eyes closed and was snoring (OK, fine, call it a dream if you want). In this vision, Jesus gathers with his disciples at the Second-to-Last Supper and says, “Yo. I sayeth to you now: do not deny me, on the Sabbath, Adam and Eve on a Raft. And always put them in sandals, for I enjoy a picnic. What? Why are you whispering, Judas? You got something to say, say it to my face.” It was a very vivid dream. I mean vision.

(Another little-known fact that came out of that vision: Peter was the disciple who coined the diner phrase “looseners” when refering to prunes.)

Boxers or Brieves?
Not Tonight Honey, I Have A Hairache
 

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Tuesday, 13 November 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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