"The Non-Confession"



This is what I’m calling the first ever “art-gag” piece, which is a sort of practical joke with written plans that can (and will!) be bought and sold like a commodity long after I’m dead. I’m thinking that spending some of my free time working on this performance piece will be most effective way of getting Gag Art into the public eye. Here’s the plan:

I will enter a church confessional during normal confessional hours and will knock on the little screen to wake up the priest from his midday slumber. “Bless me Father for I have sinned,” I'll say. I’ll wait a bit, breathing deeply, which will give the Padre a chance to say something like, “Go ahead my child.”

Then, with my voice cracking, I’ll blurt out something like, “Father, I…I…I k-k-killed—no!”  

The art happens when my associate, pretending to be the next confessor in line, uses his smartphone to get video of the priest emerging from his confessional and chasing me, then using his own smart phone to call the cops. My associate will then string together all the scenes of priests in various cities across the US and Europe running out of their churches to see who had just (nearly) confessed to a murder (which never actually happened!).

Obviously, this piece will require a substantial budget, and I’m hoping to find one or two arts organizations with deep pockets to foot the bill for the travel costs to cities across the US and Europe. Also, I’ll need a per-diem for lodging, meals and incidentals (beer), plus daycare costs for my kids while I’m on this Gag-Art jaunt.

Finally, I’ll need to have a lawyer on retainer for the inevitable incarceration or two I’ll face when a particularly spritely man-of-the-cloth catches me before I’m able to run off.

I Quintuple That!
Bad Kitty! (Litter)


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Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



It's unlimited
Presidential harrassment
Dems are going nuts!


Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!


The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?


Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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