The Old and the Less Dressed
If beaches are where the toned and the waxed compete for the best abs, pecs, and glutes, then water parks are the converse: flab jamborees of the lowest order, where no one feels particularly out of place exposing their family endowment of back hair and bottom-lard. I’m no Adonis and have been scolded repeatedly by my five year old daughter for being way too “furry” and failing to shave (my face, I believe she is referring to, though I’ve never pressed her on that point), but of course I don’t ask to be taken to water parks and feel somewhat squeamish following other people’s derrieres down the wet chutes. My kids are willing to don mental blinders if it means they can slip and slide for hours on end, and consequently had probably their happiest day of the summer yesterday at “Breezy Picnic Grounds and Water Park” in the town of Douglas, MA. A small-time water park, the Breezy slides get you up and down in a few minutes, giving the kids ample opportunity to enjoy the watery sluices.
My daughter runs several dozen degrees colder than most kids and needed a few respites to warm up under a towel; during one of these brief intervals, my wife cast her gaze out over the scene of barely clothed families and observed, “It’s amazing that anyone ever gets pregnant.” True enough: despite all the exposure, there was little titillation to be had.
Now that fall is just a few weeks away, bathing suits and exposed skin will give way to long pants, sweaters, and increased darkness. Summer’s end may be bittersweet, but autumn will be a sight for sore eyes.