There But For A Lack Of Talent Go We

Alas, there’s goes Jacoby Ellsbury, off to don the pinstripes for the next seven years, much to the chagrin of us Red Sox fans. Yes, we knew he wasn’t sticking around (though I wish he had just so Dan Shaughnessy couldn’t gloat), but it somehow didn’t occur to me that the Yankees would fork over $153 million over 7 years for him. What the…!

Yesterday, I broke the news to my 8 year old son, who had no reaction at all. Of course, that was because he had tuned out the droning male adult across the dinner table, who is usually telling him to eat over the plate and stop squirming. Later, I mentioned it again and he said, “What? Jacoby Ellsbury is a Yankee?” Yes, son, as I believe I already mentioned. “At least it wasn’t Papi,” he said. Good point. Imagine the sight of David “.688 in the World Series” Ortiz in pinstripes: it would be like watching your ex-girlfriend, a total babe way out of your league, walking down the street on the arm of that douchebag jock who used to threaten to kick your ass in front of all the girls. The stomach turns…

I will now turn my attention to two important moments in the future: 1) When Jacoby Ellsbury’s name is announced on opening day; and 2) When he first comes to bat as a hated Yankee. I will stand and clap (if I’m present) and will remind my son to do the same, to acknowledge Jacoby's contribution to the Red Sox over the last six-some years. Our fellow fans will spend their energy booing, unable to admit that they, too, would gladly don pinstripes if it meant a contract of $153 million over 7 years.

U.N. High Commissioner for Pigeon Peas
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Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



It's unlimited
Presidential harrassment
Dems are going nuts!


Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!


The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?


Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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