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Dude, That's Uber Scary

I finally feel like I have an opinion about Uber, having taken a few of them when I recently visited the town of Venice Beach, CA, where I like to go whenever my friend Howard flies me out there. My only other Uber ride came in the town of Washington, DC, in March of 2015, where a cab driver doubled as an Uber driver and expertly chauffeured the lads and me to see John Medeski’s then-band (can’t remember its name, but man they were awesome!).

Needing a ride to get out of the uber-packed town of Santa Monica, just north of Venice Beach, Howard called upon an Uber, and unwittingly agreed to put us in an “Uber pool,” which meant we’d be sharing a ride with a fellow named Herman, who looked frightened when I opened his door. The driver, Jesus, calmed Herman’s nerves by informing him that this was a ride share, so lighten up.

Once inside, Jesus drove as fast as he could down Santa Monica’s back streets packed with drunken revelers, whilst staring down at the personal electronic device that was nestled between his thighs in order a) to book more rides, and b) to follow the GPS directions. After a few minutes of this, I declared: “Dude! You gotta get yourself a dock for that phone and stick it right up here on the dashboard.” Jesus chuckled, “Yeah. You’re right.” Then he went back to staring down in the area of his groin.

We survived and learned, during the ride, that Jesus was earning extra money in order to open a bakery, which all of us in the car agreed should be named “Yeast Confection.” Of course, there will be no bakery for Jesus nor baked goods for a few unlucky pedestrians if Jesus doesn’t keep his eyes on the road.

Freak Out
Longboard Me, Marge


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Tuesday, 07 July 2020

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



It's unlimited
Presidential harrassment
Dems are going nuts!


Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!


The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?


Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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